POO.

It’s 8:09 and I am sitting here waiting to go volunteer at Mr. Boo’s classroom Chinese New Year celebration.

I have done my  morning chores, including dropping Mr. Boo off, which took approximately four and a half minutes, which just happened to be enough time for the evil rat-mutt to poo and pee in the area of the house that I scrubbed to death over the weekend to finallyget rid of all of the remnants of poo and pee after the ‘what the hell did you Eat’ incident of a couple of weeks ago.

After kicking him (yes.  I kicked him.  Report me.), I tried to figure out just Why we went on a ten minute poo walk in the -5 degree cold and he peed all over the place (but wouldn’t poo) and why he would then choose to come home and take care of business in the house.

I used to take responsibility for the accidents because I was a bad owner and didn’t take him on walks for him to  make sure he did his business.

But this?

Is a personal affront that just makes me Cranky.

*****

I am seriously sick and tired of the cold.

I can handle fifteen feet of snow, but the fact that it’s probably been below zero more than above zero for the past month is beginning to wear on me.

Give me snow.  Give me three solid months of clouds.

But I am permanently Frozen and sick and tired of the extra fifteen minutes it takes me each morning to get the car castle running.  (Not to mention the frozen [worthless] poo walks.)

One of the urchins suggested Florida when I said we should move somewhere warm, but I shot that one down as there is such a thing as too warm, too.

I’m gonna have to do some research.

*****

I think I’m going to like my part-time schedule.  (The paycheck next week…not so much.)

Just when I get sick and tired of the shit and the whole shebang….

It’s time to go!

Not a bad thing.

*****

What else?

I guess that’s just about it.

It’s not the most exciting existence in the world, but apparently someone has to clean up the poo.

ak

Of frypans and new schedules

I am sitting in front of a fire with a glass of champagne left over from New Year’s Day (not quite as bad as it sounds) and have just put a chicken pot pie in the oven.

I went out after work in my final (somewhat lame and abbreviated search) for a new coat (because I could NOT find the one that I saw the day after Christmas at home and even after calling the store and, I think, figuring out the manufacturer could not find more than three coats out there in the world that this manufacturer (who is also not found anywhere in cyberspace) made and this has made me highly depressed) and gave up and bought a new fry pan instead.

Because somehow, splurging and spending $14.99 (and the 15% customer appreciation discount) on a replacement pan for the one that we’ve been using that has the teflon scratched and wearing away, which will, inevitably cause cancer in the entire family, made me feel better.

Seriously.

I’ve been holding off replacing this damn pan because I figured it would cost $50 (which….REALLY?) and I found a perfectly lovely pan for, like, twelve dollars.

So, I also bought a new pair of sunglasses and $31 worth of lotions to give to teachers as gifts.

And got a car wash that I thought was going to be $7.51 as advertised, but somehow managed to be $14 something (plus tax and a cheap $3 tip that I stole from the Bits’ ice cream money that I keep in my purse).

There’s something about the perceived impending doom of the economy that puts me into super-spending mode. 

It’s weird.

*****

I am absolutely in love with the Simi-cat, who is the most beautiful cat I can even imagine and has turned into a frisky kitten now that her fixing spot has healed.

She plays with just about anything she can (which is made much easier by having urchins and their toys in the house) and yesterday I just about lost it when I found her carrying around an old Happy Meal The Dog toy; carrying it in her mouth, dropping it down the stairs, bounding after it…rinse and repeat as necessary.

She gets along swimmingly with The Mighty and has even taking to washing her head (seeing as how The Mighty is the only cat I know who doesn’t clean herself.  Except for the Ba’s old cat Peeker, who was a long-haired disaster and who had Major the Golden to keep him clean, as he would, for some unknown reason, clean out Major’s eyes.  It’s all weird, I know.)

She sleeps in between our pillows and I will freak out in the middle of the night because she’s got her face right in mine, trying to suck the life out of me as is the folk-lore of cats.

I love the kitties.

*****

So.

The new job situation is interesting.

I’ve already put in an extra two and a half hours this week, due to feeling guilty about watching the inauguration and a belated, worthless staff meeting that ended up going two hours while I listened to people (other than Suzanne) make up shit about how they’re trying to drive new business.

It’s ludicrous.

The Mentor called me in before I left to see how things were going and to let me know once again that because I have to pull appropriate product, put together product information and place and ship orders for our rep, that I’m not the ’sales person’ that the other girls are and therefore I don’t work as hard and therefore, I’ll be handling all the product set-up, too.  (Which I knew, but Fuck. You. if you think that just because I don’t do the easy part of the face-to-face with the buyer…I’m still doing all the other work!!!)

I’m having a hard time adjusting to the new schedule, mostly because Mr. Boo is still in the after-school program, so I’m trying to find things to do so the Bits can get her nap in at dayschool and Mr. Boo can have some time to play with his friends.

I’m also worried that I’ll Love the change and at some point we’ll have at least two other people quite, or things Won’t get better and they’ll lay more people off, and then they’ll want me back to working full time.

It’s just all so crazy right now.

But I’ve been cooking and next week will actually start planning menus and shopping according to them and oddly (for the moment, at least) am really looking forward to it.

I haven’t managed to get the house cleaned, but, as well as the work-out schedule, I’m hoping that will come once I find out what it’s like to walk through the door at 3:00 every day.

In the meantime, I will sit by the fire and enjoy the evening.

Hurrah.

ak

Unemployment or part time?

For the record, it’s still fucking cold.

Eighty to ninety hours of temperatures below zero.

Make you want to pack your bags and move up here, doesn’t it?

I had to sit in the car castle with my foot on the gas pedal for thirty minutes before it reluctantly decided to stay running on its own.

I may not have the private school, but I’m Real happy to have the dead animal skin to keep me warm during that process.

*****

So.

The hammer fell yesterday.

Seven out of nineteen people (excluding tptb, of course) are gone.

The ’sales team’ (and I use that term loosely) will have a 50% paycut and work either three days a week or 9-2(-ish) five days a week.

Effectively, this is the part time job I’ve been wanting.

Except there are so many obnoxious thoughts regarding this whole thing that I can’t even look at the positives at this point.

I’m trying to get together a spreadsheet to see if it makes sense to stay here or basically get a few dollars less (via unempl0yment) to NOT. WORK.

This place is Something.

ak

Fricken-fracken cold

Thank goodness the endorphins just kicked in, because I was right on the verge of a sobbing breakdown.

Just finished shoveling half of the driveway (around the car castle and the fricken-fracken mouth that the damn plow plowed in) because the fricken-fracken snowblower won’t start.

Luckily, it’s so damn cold that the snow has little to no water in it and is therefore light and fluffy and blows back in your face by the obnoxious winds but doesn’t break your back as you try to push it out of the driveway.

Just put leftovers in front of the urchins, as I met Mitzi for lunch at the Great Wall (I certainly hope it’s the weather, because if not, that place won’t be around much longer) and put away the clean dishes so that I can now wash the dirty dishes.

Once I’m done with that, I get to clean up the poo from both the living room and the basement (that God the Ba actually put up the child gate so I only have to clean the vinyl tile rather than the rock tile), as I have No idea what’s up with the evil rat-mutt, but I’ve been letting him out at least three times a night (luckily, not starting until 2am or later) and taking him for his poo walk and he Still is leaving nasty, runny crap all over my house.  (Truthfully, it may be a residual from the Prednisone, but more likely from the garbage that I believe him to be eating all over the village.  Grrr.)

Then I need to get myself prepared for tomorrow, as I’ll be sitting in the car castle for at least fifteen minutes with my foot on the gas before it will run by itself, I totally forgot to get Mr. Boo his snack today and I’m up to two birthday parties for this weekend that I have to RSVP for.  (Note to any parents of birthday-party age children:  PLEASE don’t give me an invitation to your child’s birthday party less than two weeks before the event.  It stresses me out Tremendously.)

So, to recap.

We have fucking cold weather for the next week.  I have to get the evil rat-mutt and the new puss to the vet tomorrow.  I have a birthday party for Mr. Boo on Saturday (right after skiing) and a birthday party for the Bits on Sunday (right before swimming).

And I have a snowblower that won’t work and a traveling Ba, which means that I have to cook and clean and I can actually probably manage the other stuff (except I Really can’t deal with wind chill) but I really Hate having to do the cooking and cleaning, Too.

However, I did get my new portable vacuum today, so now I can see if I can get the carpet on the stairs that is only two years old more clean so it doesn’t look older than the thirty year old carpet it replaced.

It really is the little things as you get older…

ak

A lull.

Before I get another nasty message from Ms. Logic telling me what a loser I am for not updating, I figured I’d better attempt to take advantage of the calm.  The lull.  It’s not exactly the eye of the hurricane, but that uneasy feeling of the heroine walking down the stairs in the horror movie, all of us knowing perfectly well she’s going to meet her fate of being chopped up into little pieces.

Neat, huh?

Big things happening.

Finally.

Except they won’t END.

I asked Suzanne yesterday how much Fucking Longer this can go on, because it’s been going on for…

“Years?” was her reply.

And that’s when I gave up.

Because honestly, Yes.  It’s been going on for years.  And it should not come as a surprise to Any of us that we’re now going to sit and bicker about the minutest of details in order to prolong the inevitable.

It’s just bat-shit crazy, people.

And with that, I will stop with they cryptic-ness. 

Because even though no one really knows about Here, I’m not about to take any chances at this point.

*****

I got my ass handed to me by a freaked out Mentor on Tuesday.

Over all of the days that I’ve wasted here chatting with my co-workers, I just happened to be working relatively hard on Tuesday, and yet the Mentor picked That day to call me (and Suzanne and Mrs. Bossie-poo) out and then proceed to pull me into her office to use the word ‘behoove’.

Because it would Be-HOOVE me to FIND something to be busy with.  In order to save face and attempt to make some money so they can go frolic and pretend that there’s nothing wrong with members of the industry.  Oh.  And spend money, of course.

I chose my battle, looked (hopefully) contrite, and left it at that.

I wonder how dramatically the unemployment rate will jump for January?

*****

I’m so glad it’s Friday.

Of course, we’re back into ’schedules’, so have skiing tomorrow and swimming on Sunday.

And then the Ba is basically gone for the next two weeks.

Which has its plusses and minuses.

I’m going to just stop thinking about the future and keep tiptoeing one day at a time.

It’s much easier if you don’t see the bus coming at you.

*****

That’s about all I’ve got.

Work.  Get home, start a fire (Yes.  We’ve gone the last couple of years having barely a handful of fires a season to this year where we’re totally out of sticks to Start fires because we’ve been having fires Every. Single. Night.  It’s done wonders for my well-being.  I can only imagine what I’d be like without them.  All I’m sayin’.), deal with urchins, go to bed, do over.

AI starts next week. (When did That happen???) So, even though I really don’t feel ready or into it or any of that, I Do need to use it as a means to get my butt back on the treadmill.

We’ll see how that actually goes.

In the meantime, it’s Friday and that’s about all I know.

Maybe next week this deal will be done and I can make more non-cryptic comments.

We’ll see.

ak

What I did for the New Year entry

Best laid plans.

Foiled.

By this:

That darned Elise.  She’s a humane society addict and totally got me in a weak moment.

So, rather than updating with darling pictures of Christmas and wishes for a happy new year and the like, I went out and procured a cat.

It took an hour (after we found her, except I think we found her brother first) and then another fifteen minutes to decide between her and her male doppleganger and deal with the meltdown by the Bits who HATED THAT CAT and wanted a kitten or ANY OTHER CAT BUT THAT CAT!!!!!!

She is So flippin’ beautiful and has no fear and we, of course, decided to ignore the ‘keep separated from your other animals for at least a week’ rule (so I fully expect a gabillion dollar vet bill in the next month as we treat everyone for viruses).  But by last night, she was dealing with the evil rat-mutt and this morning, she and the feral cat were rubbing up against each other waiting for breakfast.  (Note the unattended plate.)

If they weren’t so darned expensive, I probably would have adopted two additional six-year-old cats.  But we really, really, Really do not need four cats.  Three was enough, and two will be plenty, considering you don’t Do much to take care of a cat.

There is a very real possibility that I will be a Cat Lady in my old age.  Remember this if you don’t hear from me for a couple weeks…

*****

Yesterday was meant to be a cleaning day.  It ended up being a ‘keep the urchins away from the cat’/’sit on my butt all day’ day.

But at least there was a fire.

And sledding.

And pirates.

And socialites.   (Note obligatory small dog…)

I think it was still a successful day.

Maybe I’ll get around to Christmas pics later…

ak