I need a nap. Or wine

So I’m back from trip #2 (in 2 days, at least) to Target.

We have acquired three presents for the upcoming birthday parties, finally found the correct replacement pans for under the coils on the stove (except I need one more small instead of a large.  We went with the cheap stove, go figure) and saw that there were still a very good number of the portable dvd players left that I got to Target for at 6am yesterday.

This does not concern me because I actually got up early to go get mine (as the Cat in the Hat game almost fell out of the car castle [my Christmas gift hiding place for the time being] as Mr. Boo insisted helping me put groceries in the car [where is this all those times I DON'T have your Christmas gifts hiding?!??!] I did need to go without the urchins along), but it concerns me because I work in a retail-based company and if people aren’t spending money on Black Friday supposed super-deals, they sure as heck aren’t out there buying jewelry.

It will be Very interesting to see how the numbers come out on Monday.

I’m tempted to start buying into the fact that retailers are the ones shooting themselves in the feet by offering such ridiculous deal in an attempt to jump-start sales, in general.  If all you’re selling is loss-leaders (meaning items that are selling below cost in an effort to get people into the stores, where they will then Hopefully spend more money than they were planning on other items that Aren’t on such sales), there’s no way that you’re going to get yourself out of the red.  And I do believe that consumers are beginning to get savvy about this, as well as the fact that there’s no Need to finish your Christmas shopping on Thanksgiving weekend and if the retailers are scared, there will be even Larger markdowns as we get closer to Christmas.

Again, it’s the retailers own damn fault for marking everything at a certain poin and then running 50% off sales every fricken-fracken week.

I still have no idea why Anyone would pay full price for Anything these days.

*****

The urchins were Awful all fricken-fracken morning and the Ba was finally going to go for attempt #3 to finish the bathroom, as each subsequent coat that didn’t cover the Entire bathroom, only ended up with an additional shade on each touched-up area.

That meant that I had to take the awful fricken-fracken urchins to Target, where I, as is becoming the standard, try not to lose my mind and beat them.

Swear to goodness, I just have No idea what to do with them.

*****

After the library yesterday (that would be the Second trip to the library, as the first trip was right as the puppet show was starting and both urchins said, “Absolutely. Not.”  /eyeroll) I dragged the urchins to get safflower seed, as the birdfeeder has been empty for far too long.

Unfortunately, there is nothing but a tiny bag of safflower seed that would have barely filled my birdfeeder, so I broke down and hauled the fifty pound bag of cardinal mix and ended up spending forty-some bucks on that.  Grr.  (Yes.  Will be headed to the feed store down in Mizzou-rah land to stock up on safflower seed when I get home.  Hrmpf.)

So the birdfeeder is full and Finally there are birds making their way back.

Except, the apple tree right next to the feeder needs to be pruned, as the squirrels are now able to climb from the branches onto the baffler (fricken-fracken) and eat the seeds. 

I just came in from my third trip out to yell at Mr. Squirrel to stay away from the bird feeder, as it’s for birds.

The first time I went out there and was literally one foot away from Mr. Squirrel and he looked at me and I looked at him and I said, “Are you Kidding Me???  I am right here and you are on my birdfeeder and you don’t even care!!!!”

Damn squirrels.

Where’s that carniverous cat when you need her?

*****

Ok.

There are dishes to be done and I really need to pu the three strollers and the Bits’ old car seat down in teh basement, rather than sitting in the driveway.  Which is where I set them before we went to Target so I could start de-cluttering the car castle so that I can fully cover the urcins presents so they don’t see them.

Which didn’t work so well without all the stuff to keep them from moving around and then becoming uncovered.

It’s been a long day already.

ak

A successful Turkey day

It’s 9:16am and I’ve already been putzing around for over two hours.

I did it.

And it was basically as ridiculous as I could have imagined.

I was at Target by 6:05 or so this morning and couldn’t believe how full the parking lot was.  Or the fact that I was going to the same area of the store as Everyone Else In The Building.  Fricken-fracken.

May I just reiterate my love of Target?

Cute little things at the entrance asking what you were looking for and telling you the EXACT spot in the store where you could find it.  (Or almost.  I went to the wrong side and had to ask someone else.  But those bright and shiny little folks had been trained, guerilla-style, to know where Everything in the ads were.)  It was amazing and delightful and I was out in a half hour.

I hope to never do that again.

I am not stupid enough to think that I won’t.

*****

Thanksgiving was so flippin’ delightful I don’t even know what to do.

Everything was super-tasty and tere was no stress and there are almost no leftovers (except turkey) and the only reason I can think that it went off without a hitch is because The Mom was not there with her timeframe and we didn’t do a gabillion dishes.

Seriously.

I may host for more family Every year.

*****

Now I have to get in the shower and take the urchins to the library.

But some pics, first…

 

ak

T-Day Eve

Nothing is going to ruin my giddy mood today.  (Which is Totally tempting fate, but whatever.)

Last night’s Soccer Mom/kid-fest was a smashing success.  Well, for the most part.  Alton Brown’s cheese fondue recipe let me down slightly, but everything else was fabulous.  I wholeheartedly recommend Target’s fiery jerk chicken marinade.  Tasty!

The kids were out of control crazy and wouldn’t go downstairs, so we dealt with them running and screaming through the house.

We, on the other hand, spent the evening dealing with a crisis of the female kind with one of the mom’s boyfriend of two and a half years and I was able to use my super-sleuth net skills to figure out that this woman who magically announced herself as dating the boyfriend for the past three months Was in fact crazy, but had a reasonable job, and did, more than likely have the friend’s address, but she probably didn’t need to worry about her showing up and boiling bunnies.

But she Did need to not waver and go with the gut and forget this loser.

We then spent the remainder of the evening signing up both of them of Facebook.

Could slumber parties with avocado face masks and swigging hard liquor out of the bottle be far behind??

It really was much fun.

*****

I am anticipating shopping for dresses and tights with the Bits tonight.

It’s just all so crazy that she is suddenly so excited about this.

I’m probably going to have to buy her new shoes, too.

Not that princess tennis shoes don’t go with Everything, but you know…

*****

And I’ve been perusing the ads for Friday.

I have NO intention of leaving the house Friday.

I remember back in the ‘old days’, I would get up to be at the Filene’s Basement when it opened at 7am.

Then you’d move on to the mall, which opened at 8?  I think.

All I know is that I’d be home and done before noon.

This 4am shit is Bat-Shit crazy.

I don’t understand the retail mentality, nor the consumer mentality.

4am?

REALLY?!?!?!?

For $30 off something you really don’t need Anyway?

Although, I’ve been debating the portable DVD player for the few car road trips and they have one at Target.

That I’m Not getting up at…Oh.  They open at 6.

And it’s two miles from my house.

But those crazy people are going to be camping out all night and they will be gone by the time I get there.

This is Exactly why it’s bat-shit crazy.

(If they have them out and I buy one and bring the receipt back on Friday, will they honor the price???  May have to ask about that one tonight.  Cuz I iz crafty.)

*****

I have to check with my friends, Logic and Lap.

I just got invitation to birthday party number five in-between November 30 and December 13.  (SERIOUSLY.  I had forgotten.)

This one is for one of Mr. Boo’s best friends.

And is on Dec. 7 from 3:15-5:15.

Which means that he would miss the second-to-the-last swimming lesson.

BUT…the Ba could not get the Bits to Her lesson, either, as hers starts at 5:30.

So.

Do the ladies have any actual Shopping to do, or are they coming along for the road trip for me to buy a discounted (and how Much is it actually discounted?  Is it a second??) super-expensive pot that I Really don’t actually need, and will Macy’s have those discounted At All and can you use those ‘20% off when you use your card’ on those pesky pots Anyway…

OR, if you Don’t have any actual shopping to do, can we still get together for brunch instead and save the gas money and time?

My life is complicated when it comes to shopping.

*****

But I’m totally looking forward to tonight and tomorrow.

I Love the Turkey Day.

ak

Of boob-squishing and Bitsy’s

Boob-squishing appointments are funny things.

First off, urchins are Not allowed.  (Thought that might be the case, but…Who knew??)

Second, I’m not sure if this is still the same woman who I’ve had the past two years, but I know it’s the same one as last year.  And she gets grumpy when you try to hard to be accommodating to the ridiculous positions she tries to put you in.  Relax!  Don’t move!  Put your shoulder Down!

Whatever.

And lastly…

You’re going to pretend my basically non-existent boobage tissue is silly putty, and yet you leave the room while I put on a paper bag that’s open to the front.

That’s just crazy.

*****

I don’t know what happened to the Bits.

I have tried for years to get her to wear dresses.

Like pulling teeth.

She suddenly wants to wear a dress Daily.

She wore last year’s Christmas dress to the birthday party on Saturday (which was ok, as we were headed to the Children’s Theatre afterwards and I believe in dressing the urchins for things like that).

Then she had to wear a dress yesterday.

Seeing as how she has that one and the Christmas dress for This year (and a few summer dresses–4th of July and Easter–which I Won’t let her wear), the Ba caved and let her wear the same dress again.

Whatever.

I sensed this last night, but ignored it.

The dress, which I had put in the hamper, was out on her dresser when I put her to bed.

I put it back in the hamper.

This morning?

She wouldn’t get dressed without wearing a dress.

The Ba caved and put the same dress on her again.

And tights.

That are probably for 18 month olds.  So the crotch is down to her knees.

I promised her we’d go to Target tomorrow night and buy her a couple of dresses and some new tights.

She’s cute as a little bug, but Honestly.

She’s a little funny, too.

*****

Why do people insist on putting faxed spam in the bin where we put copies that have been on the copier too long?

It’s. Spam.

No one cares about the life insurance rates, the Cancun vacation, or any other crap that comes through using up half of our black ink.

Put. Them. In. The. Recycling. Bin.

So I don’t have to.

hrmpf.

ak

Love that Bits

Yes.  It’s the second post today.

Bossie-poo gone this week, the Mentor out this morning, short week, flailing company, forgot funny stuff.

You’ll survive.

So.

When we were home on Thursday (because Mr. Boo had strep, which I Didn’t tell you), I put the Bits on the computer and moved her to the wally site to give her a break from the sameness of her Amazon shopping and proceeded to start washing dishes.

Mom!  Come here!

Bits, I’m busy.

Come here!!!  I want to show you something!!!

What is it, Bits?

Yes.  The Barbie bubble-gum pink convertible.   Super-cool, Bits…

Yeah.  That’s what I’m talkin’ about!!

God bless the Bits.

ak

The Donna Reed evolution is almost complete

Whew.

Another whirl-wind weekend.

Birthday party on Saturday.  Which allowed me to go to politically incorrect dead animal skin store to drop off my vest to be fixed (seeing as how I didn’t get the coats stored this year, not exactly surprising) and found the most adorable purple (yes, Purple!!!) sheared beaver knit coat for 70% off, damn the politically incorrect dead animal skin store, then off to the second hive-inducing place on the planet (after Chuck E. Cheese’s, which is what started the hives in the first place), Babie R Us, to return the stroller from the Mouse World debacle.  Then back to the first hive-inducing place to deal with meltdown because we had to leave the party early to get to the Children’s Theatre for a Fabulous production of “The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe”.  Home for a fire and shrimp cocktail and crab legs.

Recession?

What stinking recession?

(No.  I have…and continue…to talk myself out of the coat, because I really need a plain leather or basic spring/fall coat and could get a really nice one [or two] for a lot less than $1800, no matter how fricken-fracken cute the damn purple coat is.  And I wrote another check to the church for their various charities just to make me realize how much that money, which I don’t have in the first place, could go to help other folks.  I’m only slightly horrible.)

Yesterday, we kicked it into high gear.

I left for church, giving the Ba instructions to get the black plague off the bathroom walls before he got into putting the storm windows on.  Dropped Mr. Boo off at home and the Bits and I went off to Target for shopping for the wine/kid party tomorrow night and Thanksgiving.

After walking back and forth about a hundred times (note to self:  Get back into trying to make your list in store order so you don’t spend an extra half-hour backtracking for stuff further down on your list), we got Everything we needed (it can’t be!  There’s bound to be Something major I’ve forgotten) and headed back…to an empty house.

Holy Hannah.

The Ba has been true to his word and has left to get paint to do the whole damn bathroom project.

So.  The Bits is kind enough to try to help clean the house (when can I do the Swiffer?!?!??!?!? a billion times as I try to get the floors Ready to Swiffer), but we dusted everything, including the Bitsy’s help on the bottoms of the chairs (which haven’t been dusted for…ahem) and the little tiny spaces in-between the back slats (except when she got tired of that) and got the table all set for tomorrow and then started on the floors.  She Swiffered and I came behind with the regular mop.  And Mr. Boo spent the entire time jumping all over the furniture as I screamed at him to Stop and Help. Us.

And laundry and after moving to a new section of floor, we made pumpkin bread for the folks at work (and I just realized that Mrs. Bossie-poo isn’t even here to have some.  Nice.) and more floor and then I screamed at Mr. Boo for riding the damn riding toy that should have been passed along years ago over the still-wet freshly mopped floors.  Grr.

And the Ba worked like a maniac on the bathroom and then went down to wash the windows before putting them up and I got out the sponge and cleaned all the crap and scuffs and marks off of the front doors and door jams and even got down on the fricken-fracken floor and cleaned all the evil little slots on that stupid vent-thing on the bottom of the refrigerator.

Then helped the Ba with the two hardest (and highest) windows and took the urchins to swimming lessons.

Came home, made leftovers, decided not to wash the sheets, continued with the rest of the laundry, fought with Mr. Boo about reading books, read to the Bits, put the urchins to bed, finished straightening the kitchen and went to bed.

The Ba finished the bathroom and got the shower doors re-hung (and the floor mopped, thank you) and I got up this morning to switch the laundry, finish scrubbing down the tub, deal with a beyond-crabby Mr. Boo and left them for the Ba to take to the dentist.

Came in and faxed the after-school care ‘dates for November’ for Mr. Boo, got the email that I will be volunteering at Mr. Boo’s school’s “Secret Santa” (who came Up with this???!?!) on Dec. 2, looked at my schedule and have the boob-squishing appointment tomorrow morning, leaving early for the wine/kid party tomorrow, birthday party for the Bits on Sunday,  Mr. Boo’s first skiing lesson on the 6th while the Bits has another birthday party, heading off for the Thelma-and-Louise-Plus-One, minus the cliff thingy shopping road trip with Logic and Lap on the 7th, volunteering in Mr. Boo’s room on the 8th, and the church Christmas program on the 14th, followed by the last swimming lesson for this session.

And all I want to do is go home and scrub my kitchen floor and vacuum the basement.

The Ba informed me that I can quit my job because when he got home Thursday night and the house looked so clean and smelled like pumpkin bread, he got all 50’s-inspired on me.

I told him I’m Totally going to do the country-club thing, but again…the house is going to look Fabulous and I’m going to actually learn to Cook.

All I’m sayin’.

ak

Don’t make me break up with you, Amazon

Dang.

I’m mad at Amazon.  And me.

I put the french press for the Ba (and me) in my shopping cart back in September.

Rather than buy it then, I decided to wait to see if maybe the price would go down.

Instead, the price went Up.

So I have time to wait.  I check every day to see if it goes back down.  I think that we’re starting to get closer and maybe I should just go ahead.

Today, it goes UP. AGAIN.

Are you Kidding????

There’s a recession, people!

Retailers aren’t Raising prices!!!

Fricken-fracken.

So Now what do I do?

Hope that this is a bubble and it will go back down to where it was before and then I’d better snatch it up, or wait and watch the damn price go up Again?

Don’t make me break up with you, Amazon.

*****

It’s Real quiet around here.

Of course there’s no resolution to the situation with the stone company, but it doesn’t necessarily look good.

No surprise there.

But it’s Real quiet.

*****

Mr. Boo is much better.

His teacher sent an email checking up on him.  “Strip throat” is going around the school.  hee!

It was sweet.

However, the Bits gave me her cold, so I was in bed last night at 6:52.

One hour of awake time around midnight, but otherwise, I slept.

It’s hitting me now that I’m tired.

And a lot to do this weekend, between birthday parties, errands, Children’s Theatre, swimming lessons, cleaning and shopping.

I think it shall be another early evening.

ak

Opportunity

So.  I’m sitting at home.

Mr. Boo got up super-early this morning.  I got up and got going at my normal time and received the breakfast order, which I made, and then Mr. Boo decided he wasn’t hungry.  Which tends to make me cranky.

Except, he complained of a sore throat and then attempted to throw up.  *sigh*

I finished getting ready, he informed me that he did want to go to school (even though he laid on the floor and made me put his socks on and then proceeded to go to the kitchen table and lay his head down on his hands that were covered with my mittens.

I continued to ask if he should go to school (knowing full well he probably shouldn’t) and went and started the car castle (as it’s COLD) and came back and the Bits had her coat on and I had my coat on and he announced that he Didn’t feel like going to school.

*sigh*

Of course at that point, I’m trying to convince him that he should at least Try and I could come and pick him up if he didn’t feel good and then he was already asking if I could pick him up early and I realized it was stupid to drop him off, take the Bits in, get to work and then have the school call immediately and tell me to come pick him up.

So, I have the day (at least until the Bits’ conference at 4:30) to Get Stuff Done.  Clean the house in anticipation for the upcoming wine/kid get-together and Thanksgiving.

But all I want to do is go back to bed, as the fabulous massage from yesterday has fought back (possibly from the poor sleeping positions) and now my back is all knotty.  Drives me nuts how that happens.

I’ll sit around and waste some time and hope that the motivation that kicked in on Sunday hasn’t been used up entirely and that I can get a lot of stuff done today, which will make my weekend much less stressful.

yay!

*****

For Logic (and Lap)…I went to The Hair District.

Apparently, they’re around, as one of the other teachers from Mr. Boo’s school goes to one in Plymouth.

All I know is that a salon that charges me less than the hoity-toity club, gives me a fine enough haircut and color for $40 less And gives me wine…  I’m fairly certain I wouldn’t care if I got a shitty haircut at this point.  (But may have to re-think my, ‘Can I get haircuts on Saturday mornings’ strategy, as even I won’t drink in the morning.  Um.  Unless they have blood marys.  Or mimosas.  hmmm….)

Also, it sounds like a Sunday will be the best day for shopping road trips.  However, I am going to have to figure out my schedule, as Sunday’s are swimming lesson days (although I think the last one is the 7th?) and then the urchins’ Christmas program is the 14th.  And the Bits has a birthday party the 30th of November.  Damn kids.

But I’m going to see what’s going on and check times with the Ba and we’ll get that Thelma and Louise Plus One, minus the driving off the cliff thingy Road Trip on the books!

*****

Ok, fine.

We’ve been slapped with the cold.

It’s time for some snow.

You’ve beaten me into submission, let’s just get this ‘winter’ thing going.

*****

Although there’s really nothing going on at work, I am somewhat sad to not be there today.

Today is the first step to finding out exactly where the company is heading and what kind of shape we’ll be around in come January 1.

Hopefully, Suzanne will keep me posted on any breaking developments.

*****

Ok.

I suppose I’d better check on Mr. Boo, as I am listening to tapping on the walls, and attempt to be motivated to Get To It.

Clean, clean, Clean!

ak

A day too good to end with reality

The shiny lustre that was the middle part of my day is beginning to wear off as the chicken curry and basmati rice are simmering on the stove and the Bits is playing ’sisters’ with her princess ‘pocket’ dolls and Mr. Boo is watching tv.

The middle of my day was so frickin’ delightful that I was trying to figure out how the authorities would find me if I didn’t pick up the urchins.  (Which you Totally know is not true, so just stop.)

I had the best massage (although it didn’t necessarily seem like it at the time) and now I plan on requesting this person for the rest of my massages.  The first time I’ve had a male at my massage place and he was absolutely perfect…not too hard on the pressure, but managed to get all the knots out.  He commented that the middle upper part of my back was really knotted (duh?) but it managed to loosen and work itself out, hurrah.  Of course, he ’suggests’ that I come in every two weeks to keep things loose, so apparently, he will be figuring out care for the urchins. 

Then I was off to the new hair person.

I can’t believe I thought that was a cheesy, cheap hair cut place.

It’s cool inside with tons of funky-haired (all bleached blonde?  What’s up with that?) stylists.

Of course, mine shows up and has long, dark hair, but she’s cute as a button and seems to have some decent ideas.  So we go over the scoop and the color and she says, “I’ll get you something to drink…we have wine, red and white, water….”

Wine?

You have WINE?????

*sigh*

So.  I have a massage, a color, a glass of red wine and a cut.

And I am in heaven.

And then I am back to reality.

Hair cut people are so funny.

They tell you they’re getting all crazy (as it’s been over six months since I had a hair cut) and I told her that I knew a good chunk needed to come off and I wasn’t Really trying to grow it out that dramatically and she was welcome to cut off as much as she wanted.  I bet she barely cut off an inch.  And the same with the color.  I said red to go with the darker brown, but it didn’t come out as red as either of us wanted.

But I still like it at this point and I swear that no matter what I do, I still end up with the updated Suzi Quatro do.

But I like it. 

*****

As long as we’re doing pictures…

It was the most beautiful sunrise yesterday morning.

So here are some pictures before I go serve the urchins dinner.

ak

Maybe getting my shit together

It occurred to me as I was huffing my way up the stairs that maybe having urchins Isn’t such a bad thing.  (It also occurred to me that I need to get my ass on the treadmill, but I’m in reading to urchins and sleeping mode.  So I’ll have to keep fighting that one.)

After the whirlwind house cleaning of Sunday (Did I mention?  The fact that the big vacuum And the little one helped me clean all the dust and cement from our crumbling foundation by the downstairs version of the fireplace that isn’t really a fireplace, as well as a good majority of the cobwebs and dust and dead bugs from the laundry area.  I’m really a decent house cleaner when I get off my ass and Do. It.) and the forced dishwashing, etc. and the fact that I am having Mr. Boo’s friends and moms (of the new mini-wine drinking club) over next week (which is what I’ve been putting off on a weeknight and because I have to Really clean the house so they don’t know what a horrid housekeeper I actually am, but figured it’s a really good way to Force me to clean the house, especially for the BIL/SIL coming over for Thanksgiving)  and for some unknown reason have decided that trying an untried recipe for cheese fondue (because how hard can That be???)…

Maybe it’s once you get past the post-partum shit and into the ‘I need to keep track of forty-billion things’ mode, those of us who have No skills at organization are Forced into it.

And suddenly, even though I’m terribly frightened, I’m being force into actually Accomplishing stuff.

I told the Ba that when the company goes away next year, I’m going to turn into the best damn Donna Reed…since Donna Reed.

The house will be spotless, I have visions of repainting everything and finally putting up shelves in the storage room (that the Ba won’t do until we do all this ridiculously serious remodeling) and having dramatically elegant dinners waiting when everyone gets home from all of their various activities.

Yeah.

Not gonna happen.

But I have delusions!!

heh.

*****

QA guy knows that I listen to the oldies station.  (The one that Isn’t playing Christmas music.)

And he came out this morning and asked me about the song Young Girl by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap.

And I said, “Yeah?  The creepiest song ever written?”

And he replied, “YEAH!!!!!!!!!!”

It’s really a great little song, but a couple years ago I actually paid attention to the lyrics and I don’t know if it just makes more sense once you have children or if there’s more creepiness in the media, but honestly.

I cannot believe that song gets radio play.

And the fact that QA guy just realized how creepy the song is, too.

hee!

*****

I’m very excited about the impending hair cutting and coloring (as it’s been since May, for pete’s sake) and the massage (only an hour, dangit).

And then I have to leave early on Thursday for the Bitsy’s conference.

And then Tuesday I have the yearly boob-squishing.

Except if I’m really going to be so motivated for the wine/kid get-together, I really need to leave Early on Tuesday, after I will get in around 9:30.

So there’s a part of me thinking I should take a half-day off Tuesday, too.

Except I hate to waste a half-day on that.

Except I have so much damn vacation time and I’m fairly certain those days won’t be reimbursed if the company does go away, so why the hell Not.

hm.

*****

It is time to get back to the trivial little projects that might keep us limping along into the new year.

If they can figure out who to keep and who to let go.

/eyeroll

Then I can go back to purging the sample room.

We have Way too many clear cz rings.

All I’m sayin’.

ak