You little readers are so darned Helpful! I appreciate all the chiming in about birthday parties. I certainly see both sides of the coin, but I really don’t believe it’s damaging for them to Not have birthday parties. Now as they get older and the numbers go down and can be confined to slumber parties/bowling parties (although that is what Mr. Boo wants this year and limiting it to no more than ten seems fine to me) I don’t think I’ll have a problem with.
We’ll see.
*****
And now, since everyone has been so helpful so far, here’s today’s problem! (Don’t you Love playing armchair psychologist???? Insert ‘Dr.’ before your name as you respond, please.) 
Mr. Boo went off the charts again last night at soccer practice. Playing around, not listening to the coach, acting crazy. I wanted to go and pull him out right there and then. The Ba claimed he had never seen him like that and I bit my lip in commenting that he’d only taken him to practice once. (He said it was three times. I might be wrong and it might be twice. ahem.) I commented that he was like that every time I’ve taken him, but this seemed even worse than normal.
Afterwards, we were going to play in the park, but I just needed to make some kind of in-roads to try to manage this behavior, so I told him that as he had not behaved at all during practice, there would be no play-time. And of course he threw a monumental fit.
We got home and I tried to have a conversation with him about how practice is important and if he’s not going to participate, then we won’t be playing soccer any more. And he replied, “Fine. I’ll quit now.” /eyeroll. NO, you will finish the season and Then you can quit. We won’t sign you up next year. “Fine. I don’t want to play anything anyway.”
Fricken-fracken stubborn evil child.
I think I may have to go the route that the teacher at his school suggested in that postive reinforcement may be a better route to go with him than punishment. Because it seems fairly apparent that Nothing along those lines is going to work with Mr. Boo.
She suggested a choice of three bags with a little Something (car, candy, etc.) in it that he can choose Only if he behaves appropriately would reinforce the positive behavior, as opposed to negatively reinforcing the bad behavior with punishments.
At this point, I’m certainly willing to give it a try because although he’s not the Best at sports, he’s definitely Good and I think would be a good player and teammate. (If, of course, we can get him to be motivated about it.)
Thoughts? Comments? Advice? How do you motivate a child to become a ‘team player’???
*****
Made it through the day yesterday.
Barely.
The headache came on right after my doctor appointment and the attempts to appease with food and ibuprofen didn’t work. (Mr. Boo’s behavior didn’t help.) It didn’t turn into a migraine, but it was certainly close.
Note to self: NEVER AGAIN can we do anything but an 8am appointment for blood work.
I love my doctor. I told her I’m not happy with my weight and she reminded me that I’m in the perfectly fine range and that women just gain weight after age 35. She wanted to do another chest x-ray since I didn’t do one back in pneumonia-phase and when I told her it was because of our high deductable, she agreed to listen to my chest and agreed that we didn’t need to do another one just to check for scarring. She said that I must be doing well with sunscreen use (hooray!) and I told her I tried, but it was early baby oil use that has done the most damage, methinks.
Overall, (we’ll see what my cholestoral and thyroid tests come back at), it appears that I will be around to drivel for a while longer.
Me and my continued early morning workouts thank you.
*****
You should see the vacation schedule around here for the next month.
Damn.
It never occurs to me to take time off until the time comes close and my darned co-workers see the opportunities and have probably had their vacation requests in for months.
Fricken-fracken.
*****
It is a picture-perfect day in the neighborhood.
And I get to leave at 3:15 to get the Bitsy to her first t-ball practice.
Which should be interesting, as I never received Anything confirming such a thing.
Hopefully, they will have record of her…or else I will have the next eight weeks of Wednesdays off early to bask in the sun of my yard.
*****
That is all I have for today, since I will be vacating early.
Looking forward to more interesting stories and advice from all of you so that there will be no beatings of a soon-to-be-six-year-old.
ak
June 18, 2008 at 9:27 pm |
I don’t envy you…having had two stubborn and headstong little boys, I know what you are going through. What has always worked best with my boys was bribery. Ahem. You can call it positive reinforcement, I’ll call it what it is
I used to have a chart going for my little one when he was that age…so many points and he could get a certain toy. When he was in kindergarten, it was a Happy Meal treat for lunch if he behaved while I was volunteering in his classroom. More recently, it has been a Frappuccino or something if he did his best and didn’t act like the class clown at tennis. It works for him. As for the tantrums, it is really important to to follow through when you threaten. I had a friend who drove an hour out of her way to drop her 4 year-old at home when she wouldn’t stop with the tantrum. She called her husband and said BE OUTSIDE I”M DROPPING HER OFF and she did and went on her way. Cured the kid who wanted to stay with mom and run fun errands. I recall my dad yanking me off a playground and I screamed and cried and yelled and sobbed all the way home when I was that age. If you threated that you will do something when they act up, it really works when you follow through. Not that it is an easy thing to do, but…
Also, they say it takes 12 weeks to change their behavior, but if you are diligent, it can be done.
I feel for you, my oldest also gave me the “I don’t care anyway” line when I threatened to take him out of something or take something away. It was a lifetime of battles like that until he was in his teens and I just started laughing it off and picking my battles. He’s a great guy now, so there is hope